Environmentalism Rant

With all the stuff on TV and the news, the shows about global warming and this book I'm reading (Story of B), I've been thinking a lot about the possibility of one person's behavior influencing the global environment (and I don't mean that in a limited sense of environmentalism -- more in the larger sense of one person implementing some kind of change). But regarding environmental responsibility, can one person make a difference? Is screwing in a light bulb really it?

The whole "green is the new black" thing -- the trendiness of it -- the exposure is good, but the marketing and hype and "everyone should be doing it" attitude of the ... movement ... is off-putting.

Why not continue on my poorly thought out rant?

I am also pissed that hybrid cars cost so much. Remember when they first became a real option for the buyer, how there were those government incentives? You'd get a $10k rebate or something, or some kind of significant pay off on your taxes? That may be high, but I remember thinking, wow. That's incentive. Now, no incentive. People are buying them. I myself want to buy one. But I'm mad that I have to pay about $5k more than I would if it were just the standard model.

I saw part of this show last night on the everyday effects of global warming. Part of what they said was that drastic weather patterns are going to be the norm, not the exception. Then on the news, all this flooding in the midwest. WTF people?

I guess what I rail against is that you can point out faults and flaws until you're blue in the face, you can tell me that Brazil has weaned itself off foreign oil and uses fuel that's 85% ethanol -- which is awesome -- but what good is awareness without a road map for action? Without options? It's like knowing there's a fire in the building but not having been told where the escape route is. Although in that analogy, perhaps you have to find the escape route yourself.

And that's what I wonder. If I want to be a more responsible citizen and minimize my carbon footprint or decrease it or whatev, what do I do? I have to go find a mechanic that can turn my engine into one that runs on biofuel? And where do I get biofuel? I remember hearing recently that in some city in the US [I think] there were biofuel pumps, or at least there was one, at a regular gas station. Was that local?

I know oil makes money. I know it costs money upfront to save money in the long run much of the time. Why are these alternatives not marketed? Just the pounding awareness? You can't keep drilling it in my head that I need to be a responsible citizen but then not tell me how to change. And screwing in a light bulb just pisses me off.

People & Earth - Don't Tread on Me

What do you think people care about?

I went home for lunch today, and I picked up this great book I'm reading called The Story of B, which is the sequel, kind of, to Ishmael (both by this Daniel Quinn guy). This book is really good, and he's off and running on his "totalitarian agriculture" thing and how our culture doesn't have to devastate the environment and kill other species to live.

Great. A new perspective. It's not politics. It's not global warming. He pushes open-minded readers to question historicity. Great.

Are other people out there thinking about the fate of the planet?

They're buying hybrids, sure, but they're also buying hummers.

As I walked back up the stairs to my office, deep in thought about the implications of what changing our culture would mean (no industry, no city centers, no optometrists, no birth control, no currency, and all the myriad inconveniences and havoc and disarray this would cause, not to mention I wouldn't survive because I need my glasses), I halted abruptly.

Is anyone else thinking about the world in this way?

They must be. Daniel Quinn is out there. Idealistic college students are out there. But are there humane folks concerned with the larger well being of the people on the planet?

I know this is a bit of an immature perspective, lumping "everyone" and "the world" together, but we're in it together, aren't we?

[I think we should have a big picture of the earth on the poster, and then have it say "don't tread on me." "how do you not tread on the earth? i mean, you kind of have to, right?" ~ Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the movie]

Fear of Commitment & The Power of Agency

When I was younger I didn't like commitments. I felt restricted. Nowadays, when so many "adult decisions" are based on the illusion of stability or safety, commitments [think: steady job = steady $$] make common sense. Romantic relationships fall into this category, for most people. They don't want to be alone, so they bag a mate at about quarter-life, and try to ... ignore later indiscretions? Go with the flow of a changing relationship, life, partner?

Do people think about why they settle down? Why monogamy? I know lots of people think about that. But I wonder what happens when we honestly, with an open and informed mind, face the prospect of true commitment. Confront the fear. (If you never feared commitment, perhaps there is something wrong with you and you never spent enough time alone and really got to know yourself. Kidding. Then you probably can't relate.)

I think people crave predictability when they don't have it. Then they get it, and some thrive. Others get bored. What do you do?

As I become more serious with my boyfriend, I think about my prior fears, and wonder if they're still relevant. I'm still the same person. And then I found these great quotes. Not that they provided any answers, but some temporary mental relief. Especially the one by A.Morris -- its like she took the emotions out of my clay head and made them into a tree. Or something.

Here they are:
“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating – in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.” ~A. Morris

Well said. And discovered on a Starbucks cup.

Here's the 2nd one:

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back-- Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now." ~Goethe

But then my rational criticism rears its head:

WHY does fear often surround commitment? Because options are eliminated, and one chooses a single path. Temporarily, or short term, this is liberating. Hence the magic of boldness. I love such magic. But the fear of commitment is the fear of closing doors. Uncertainty. Doubt. The quotes assume that once a choice is made, there is no going back. Does the magic happen only at the start? What happens when time fades the shiny surfaces of the things you once craved? Does being accustomed to something, or does comfort, make commitment unnecessary? Less relevant?

Is commitment a formal or legally binding agreement? Is it intangible, and exists in our hearts? Does true commitment fade? I believe you can be committed to someone-- even an idea-- at one point, and then later, through circumstance (or choice), that commitment is no longer relevant. No longer lasts.

This is the questioning that gets me in trouble! I think this is why people invented words like "trust" and "faith" -- so people like me are discouraged from such over-analysis.