I'm listening to the doors at work. roadhouse blues. My old favorite band. Obsession maybe I should say.
Reminds me:
After college, like any other wander-lust not wanting to go home, finally free, 20 something, didn't know what to do and joined my friend Leanne at a summer camp outside of san francisco. redwoods, forest, screaming dirty children, the whole 9. was i prepped for a camp counselor position? what was there to be prepped for? i guess a lot, because i got put in the office.
"that's ok," i thought. "i'm more used to this kind of environment and i won't have to be working round the clock with pubescent teens and pre-teens."
i didn't know i wouldn't get cell phone reception. i felt isolated. in the boones. hated it!
many great and life changing experiences happened at that camp. i learned not to tease boys about sex. [ha] i learned that angels inhabit people and can brighten any day of a life of a day. i learned i don't really love the woods. i learned, again, the value of a car. and i learned the value of friends' friends.
my angel-girl friend rachy, a kiwi, a fruit, a nut [sari asked was she crazy. she never knew anyone who laughed like that] had a friend. he worked at that camp too, but in a different department. his name was adrien. somehow adrien knew i loved the doors. i think that's all we had to talk about because he smoked a lot of weed and was an artist -- you'd think we would have had more in common or more to say -- but he was always singing, on his guitar, so we were left to look at the shadows of trees and the filtering of light. and that was good and well.
one day we happened upon the subject of the doors. we both loved them; he, not nearly as much as i, i'd say. nonetheless, he asked:
"Do you know they're having that reunion concert in Concord? All the original band members -- except for Jim of course. It's on June 5th. I'm going."
Of course I asked if he had an extra ticket, or could i buy one, or WHERE could i buy one, etc. He said they were sold out. Sorry. He was taking a friend. Not to mention, June 5th was my birthday. Ugh!
When I saw him I'd ask him, as the date approached, if he was excited, and was that guy he was taking nearly as cool as me. he said he wasn't sure about the coolness part, but yah, he was excited.
well about two days before my b-day/the concert, we were singing and watching the light and listening to the moon coming out and he asked me, would i like to go? of course I said yes. i don't even think i bothered asking what happened to his dude friend. rachy said "of course he likes you hales. you gotta know that." who knew.
so there we went. the one catch was that i had to drive. car comes in handy. no problem. free ticket otherwise. a birthday present from a near stranger. when we got there, parked, and started walking up, they were just starting the first set and you could hear the deep guitar beat of roadhouse blues. it was awesome.
we were in the 18th row. i think the lead singer from white snake covered for jim. strange, because he was kind of like an elvis impersonator. fluffy white shirt, long wavy hair, leather pants -- looking strikingly like jim. oh well. a reno or vegas show in concord. the rest was authentic.
it was a real high, man.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
morning stream of consciousness
afraid of a blank template, are we? so out of practice. don't you hate it when you start writing after a long hiatus -- really long -- and feel like you don't have your voice or don't have anything to say? of course there are the usual things, but average is so ordinary and everyone gets that when they're not in front of the sensational box. i mean tv. one week without tv, have you tried it? i heard the radio interview of a man who decided he and his family would go one week without tv, as if it were food or water, or some kind of real challenge. but it is... and he said the first thing you realize is how much time you have. how much less hectic life becomes. as long as i have books and canvas and white paint i think i'll be fine. who am i kidding. i lived for a year without tv. it's a companion for people who are lonely. it's an excuse to stay inside. it sensationalizes daily life and makes yours feel inadequate. makes you expect something other than what you have, perhaps. people become friends with their tv show characters. emulate them, want to be them. they come up in casual conversation and what i was trying to say was, tv does your thinking for you. even in casual conversation. talk about your shows. what else is there to say?
"wipe your hand across your mouth and laugh. the worlds revolve like ancient women gathering fuel in vacant lots." - thomas stearns eliot, from preludes
[i really need to start reading poetry again]
"wipe your hand across your mouth and laugh. the worlds revolve like ancient women gathering fuel in vacant lots." - thomas stearns eliot, from preludes
[i really need to start reading poetry again]
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Others' Insights
Some useful quotes I keep around...
"At every instant, one is either growing into something more, or shrinking into something less." [don't remember source]
"Your work is to discover your work, and then with all your heart, to give yourself to it." - Buddha
"Living in truth means living in confrontation." - Star Jones
"The problems that exist in the world today cannot be solved by the level of thinking that created them." -Einstein
"A problem well-stated is a problem half-solved." - Kettering
And a favorite poem, always refreshing:
This Is Just To Say
I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast
forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
- William Carlos Williams
"At every instant, one is either growing into something more, or shrinking into something less." [don't remember source]
"Your work is to discover your work, and then with all your heart, to give yourself to it." - Buddha
"Living in truth means living in confrontation." - Star Jones
"The problems that exist in the world today cannot be solved by the level of thinking that created them." -Einstein
"A problem well-stated is a problem half-solved." - Kettering
And a favorite poem, always refreshing:
This Is Just To Say
I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast
forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
- William Carlos Williams
Monday, August 27, 2007
Environmentalism Rant
With all the stuff on TV and the news, the shows about global warming and this book I'm reading (Story of B), I've been thinking a lot about the possibility of one person's behavior influencing the global environment (and I don't mean that in a limited sense of environmentalism -- more in the larger sense of one person implementing some kind of change). But regarding environmental responsibility, can one person make a difference? Is screwing in a light bulb really it?
The whole "green is the new black" thing -- the trendiness of it -- the exposure is good, but the marketing and hype and "everyone should be doing it" attitude of the ... movement ... is off-putting.
Why not continue on my poorly thought out rant?
I am also pissed that hybrid cars cost so much. Remember when they first became a real option for the buyer, how there were those government incentives? You'd get a $10k rebate or something, or some kind of significant pay off on your taxes? That may be high, but I remember thinking, wow. That's incentive. Now, no incentive. People are buying them. I myself want to buy one. But I'm mad that I have to pay about $5k more than I would if it were just the standard model.
I saw part of this show last night on the everyday effects of global warming. Part of what they said was that drastic weather patterns are going to be the norm, not the exception. Then on the news, all this flooding in the midwest. WTF people?
I guess what I rail against is that you can point out faults and flaws until you're blue in the face, you can tell me that Brazil has weaned itself off foreign oil and uses fuel that's 85% ethanol -- which is awesome -- but what good is awareness without a road map for action? Without options? It's like knowing there's a fire in the building but not having been told where the escape route is. Although in that analogy, perhaps you have to find the escape route yourself.
And that's what I wonder. If I want to be a more responsible citizen and minimize my carbon footprint or decrease it or whatev, what do I do? I have to go find a mechanic that can turn my engine into one that runs on biofuel? And where do I get biofuel? I remember hearing recently that in some city in the US [I think] there were biofuel pumps, or at least there was one, at a regular gas station. Was that local?
I know oil makes money. I know it costs money upfront to save money in the long run much of the time. Why are these alternatives not marketed? Just the pounding awareness? You can't keep drilling it in my head that I need to be a responsible citizen but then not tell me how to change. And screwing in a light bulb just pisses me off.
The whole "green is the new black" thing -- the trendiness of it -- the exposure is good, but the marketing and hype and "everyone should be doing it" attitude of the ... movement ... is off-putting.
Why not continue on my poorly thought out rant?
I am also pissed that hybrid cars cost so much. Remember when they first became a real option for the buyer, how there were those government incentives? You'd get a $10k rebate or something, or some kind of significant pay off on your taxes? That may be high, but I remember thinking, wow. That's incentive. Now, no incentive. People are buying them. I myself want to buy one. But I'm mad that I have to pay about $5k more than I would if it were just the standard model.
I saw part of this show last night on the everyday effects of global warming. Part of what they said was that drastic weather patterns are going to be the norm, not the exception. Then on the news, all this flooding in the midwest. WTF people?
I guess what I rail against is that you can point out faults and flaws until you're blue in the face, you can tell me that Brazil has weaned itself off foreign oil and uses fuel that's 85% ethanol -- which is awesome -- but what good is awareness without a road map for action? Without options? It's like knowing there's a fire in the building but not having been told where the escape route is. Although in that analogy, perhaps you have to find the escape route yourself.
And that's what I wonder. If I want to be a more responsible citizen and minimize my carbon footprint or decrease it or whatev, what do I do? I have to go find a mechanic that can turn my engine into one that runs on biofuel? And where do I get biofuel? I remember hearing recently that in some city in the US [I think] there were biofuel pumps, or at least there was one, at a regular gas station. Was that local?
I know oil makes money. I know it costs money upfront to save money in the long run much of the time. Why are these alternatives not marketed? Just the pounding awareness? You can't keep drilling it in my head that I need to be a responsible citizen but then not tell me how to change. And screwing in a light bulb just pisses me off.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
People & Earth - Don't Tread on Me
What do you think people care about?
I went home for lunch today, and I picked up this great book I'm reading called The Story of B, which is the sequel, kind of, to Ishmael (both by this Daniel Quinn guy). This book is really good, and he's off and running on his "totalitarian agriculture" thing and how our culture doesn't have to devastate the environment and kill other species to live.
Great. A new perspective. It's not politics. It's not global warming. He pushes open-minded readers to question historicity. Great.
Are other people out there thinking about the fate of the planet?
They're buying hybrids, sure, but they're also buying hummers.
As I walked back up the stairs to my office, deep in thought about the implications of what changing our culture would mean (no industry, no city centers, no optometrists, no birth control, no currency, and all the myriad inconveniences and havoc and disarray this would cause, not to mention I wouldn't survive because I need my glasses), I halted abruptly.
Is anyone else thinking about the world in this way?
They must be. Daniel Quinn is out there. Idealistic college students are out there. But are there humane folks concerned with the larger well being of the people on the planet?
I know this is a bit of an immature perspective, lumping "everyone" and "the world" together, but we're in it together, aren't we?
[I think we should have a big picture of the earth on the poster, and then have it say "don't tread on me." "how do you not tread on the earth? i mean, you kind of have to, right?" ~ Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the movie]
I went home for lunch today, and I picked up this great book I'm reading called The Story of B, which is the sequel, kind of, to Ishmael (both by this Daniel Quinn guy). This book is really good, and he's off and running on his "totalitarian agriculture" thing and how our culture doesn't have to devastate the environment and kill other species to live.
Great. A new perspective. It's not politics. It's not global warming. He pushes open-minded readers to question historicity. Great.
Are other people out there thinking about the fate of the planet?
They're buying hybrids, sure, but they're also buying hummers.
As I walked back up the stairs to my office, deep in thought about the implications of what changing our culture would mean (no industry, no city centers, no optometrists, no birth control, no currency, and all the myriad inconveniences and havoc and disarray this would cause, not to mention I wouldn't survive because I need my glasses), I halted abruptly.
Is anyone else thinking about the world in this way?
They must be. Daniel Quinn is out there. Idealistic college students are out there. But are there humane folks concerned with the larger well being of the people on the planet?
I know this is a bit of an immature perspective, lumping "everyone" and "the world" together, but we're in it together, aren't we?
[I think we should have a big picture of the earth on the poster, and then have it say "don't tread on me." "how do you not tread on the earth? i mean, you kind of have to, right?" ~ Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the movie]
Friday, August 3, 2007
Fear of Commitment & The Power of Agency
When I was younger I didn't like commitments. I felt restricted. Nowadays, when so many "adult decisions" are based on the illusion of stability or safety, commitments [think: steady job = steady $$] make common sense. Romantic relationships fall into this category, for most people. They don't want to be alone, so they bag a mate at about quarter-life, and try to ... ignore later indiscretions? Go with the flow of a changing relationship, life, partner?
Do people think about why they settle down? Why monogamy? I know lots of people think about that. But I wonder what happens when we honestly, with an open and informed mind, face the prospect of true commitment. Confront the fear. (If you never feared commitment, perhaps there is something wrong with you and you never spent enough time alone and really got to know yourself. Kidding. Then you probably can't relate.)
I think people crave predictability when they don't have it. Then they get it, and some thrive. Others get bored. What do you do?
As I become more serious with my boyfriend, I think about my prior fears, and wonder if they're still relevant. I'm still the same person. And then I found these great quotes. Not that they provided any answers, but some temporary mental relief. Especially the one by A.Morris -- its like she took the emotions out of my clay head and made them into a tree. Or something.
Here they are:
“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating – in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.” ~A. Morris
Well said. And discovered on a Starbucks cup.
Here's the 2nd one:
"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back-- Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now." ~Goethe
But then my rational criticism rears its head:
WHY does fear often surround commitment? Because options are eliminated, and one chooses a single path. Temporarily, or short term, this is liberating. Hence the magic of boldness. I love such magic. But the fear of commitment is the fear of closing doors. Uncertainty. Doubt. The quotes assume that once a choice is made, there is no going back. Does the magic happen only at the start? What happens when time fades the shiny surfaces of the things you once craved? Does being accustomed to something, or does comfort, make commitment unnecessary? Less relevant?
Is commitment a formal or legally binding agreement? Is it intangible, and exists in our hearts? Does true commitment fade? I believe you can be committed to someone-- even an idea-- at one point, and then later, through circumstance (or choice), that commitment is no longer relevant. No longer lasts.
This is the questioning that gets me in trouble! I think this is why people invented words like "trust" and "faith" -- so people like me are discouraged from such over-analysis.
Do people think about why they settle down? Why monogamy? I know lots of people think about that. But I wonder what happens when we honestly, with an open and informed mind, face the prospect of true commitment. Confront the fear. (If you never feared commitment, perhaps there is something wrong with you and you never spent enough time alone and really got to know yourself. Kidding. Then you probably can't relate.)
I think people crave predictability when they don't have it. Then they get it, and some thrive. Others get bored. What do you do?
As I become more serious with my boyfriend, I think about my prior fears, and wonder if they're still relevant. I'm still the same person. And then I found these great quotes. Not that they provided any answers, but some temporary mental relief. Especially the one by A.Morris -- its like she took the emotions out of my clay head and made them into a tree. Or something.
Here they are:
“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating – in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.” ~A. Morris
Well said. And discovered on a Starbucks cup.
Here's the 2nd one:
"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back-- Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now." ~Goethe
But then my rational criticism rears its head:
WHY does fear often surround commitment? Because options are eliminated, and one chooses a single path. Temporarily, or short term, this is liberating. Hence the magic of boldness. I love such magic. But the fear of commitment is the fear of closing doors. Uncertainty. Doubt. The quotes assume that once a choice is made, there is no going back. Does the magic happen only at the start? What happens when time fades the shiny surfaces of the things you once craved? Does being accustomed to something, or does comfort, make commitment unnecessary? Less relevant?
Is commitment a formal or legally binding agreement? Is it intangible, and exists in our hearts? Does true commitment fade? I believe you can be committed to someone-- even an idea-- at one point, and then later, through circumstance (or choice), that commitment is no longer relevant. No longer lasts.
This is the questioning that gets me in trouble! I think this is why people invented words like "trust" and "faith" -- so people like me are discouraged from such over-analysis.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Moms
Moms are tough.
I was just talking with my boyfriend the other day and saying that I think people who live in cities don't want to be close the their families. There's this isolation--I think its liberating--to being in a city where you can remain as anonymous as you want. Or maybe it was that if you want to live in a city and like the anonymity, then you don't like your family.
Anyway, sometimes I wish I lived further from my mother. I love her. Of course I love her, she's my mother. But I don't know how to make her happy, and I don't know if she knows how to make herself happy. And you have to take initiative to fix or improve your life. You have to DO something, instead of waiting. Or complaining.
In addition to those frustrations, there's holidays. Or holi-DAZE as I call them. It's July right now, and I went to lunch with my mom a few days ago, and she's talking to me about Christmas. I told my boyfriend, and he asked, "Did you tell her it's July?" Of course I didn't. I understand. She wants to plan so she won't be alone. She's afraid my sister will go with her boyfriend's family, and I'll do that same, and she'll be left twiddling her thumbs at home alone with her decorations. Sad.
Well, what incentive should she offer? Travel? That won't seem to work. Alcohol? Dunno. Open-mindedness. Loosening her grip on control of all aspects of all situations--that could work.
I am in a strange situation where I am frustrated by caring for my mother and trying to please her, talking with her and listening to her but keeping my mouth shut on the bigger points of my dissidence, and knowing I can't make her happy. It can't be me. Happiness is in-born, isn't it? You have to find a way to satisfy yourself first, right? And then other people are a bonus.
I wish my mom had interests. Or would follow through on the ideas she talks about. Recently she said she could feel a big change on the horizon. I asked her, "What?" She said, "I don't know, but its big. I can feel it coming." That's fine. My mom's intuition is pretty good. But what if it doesn't come? You can't sit and wait for your life to change around you, and hope it changes in a way you like. Disaster. It's like hands-off driving. No input into where you life will go? I know everyone gets lost and loses touch with their internal compass, but you have to be willing to break your habits and take some action to create change when you're dissatisfied.
I do know I'm not the only one here. I just don't know how to talk to my mom to make anything different or change.
[frustration]
I was just talking with my boyfriend the other day and saying that I think people who live in cities don't want to be close the their families. There's this isolation--I think its liberating--to being in a city where you can remain as anonymous as you want. Or maybe it was that if you want to live in a city and like the anonymity, then you don't like your family.
Anyway, sometimes I wish I lived further from my mother. I love her. Of course I love her, she's my mother. But I don't know how to make her happy, and I don't know if she knows how to make herself happy. And you have to take initiative to fix or improve your life. You have to DO something, instead of waiting. Or complaining.
In addition to those frustrations, there's holidays. Or holi-DAZE as I call them. It's July right now, and I went to lunch with my mom a few days ago, and she's talking to me about Christmas. I told my boyfriend, and he asked, "Did you tell her it's July?" Of course I didn't. I understand. She wants to plan so she won't be alone. She's afraid my sister will go with her boyfriend's family, and I'll do that same, and she'll be left twiddling her thumbs at home alone with her decorations. Sad.
Well, what incentive should she offer? Travel? That won't seem to work. Alcohol? Dunno. Open-mindedness. Loosening her grip on control of all aspects of all situations--that could work.
I am in a strange situation where I am frustrated by caring for my mother and trying to please her, talking with her and listening to her but keeping my mouth shut on the bigger points of my dissidence, and knowing I can't make her happy. It can't be me. Happiness is in-born, isn't it? You have to find a way to satisfy yourself first, right? And then other people are a bonus.
I wish my mom had interests. Or would follow through on the ideas she talks about. Recently she said she could feel a big change on the horizon. I asked her, "What?" She said, "I don't know, but its big. I can feel it coming." That's fine. My mom's intuition is pretty good. But what if it doesn't come? You can't sit and wait for your life to change around you, and hope it changes in a way you like. Disaster. It's like hands-off driving. No input into where you life will go? I know everyone gets lost and loses touch with their internal compass, but you have to be willing to break your habits and take some action to create change when you're dissatisfied.
I do know I'm not the only one here. I just don't know how to talk to my mom to make anything different or change.
[frustration]
Monday, July 23, 2007
The Utility of Reading
I've always been interested in disseminating useful information to many people. In high school, I wanted to start a magazine. In college, I founded a club that taught women about self-respect and independence, and the state of other women around the world. After college, I worked as an editor of a trade magazine, and now I work in city magazines. But what I am really passionate about is books.
It would be a rewarding, challenging, dynamic learning experience to get up in front of students and provide an avenue for them to learn lessons from other people's stories in books. What better way to travel when poor? What better way to learn about your enemies? What easier way to get a first-hand look into another culture? Remember what its like to be young, or discover what it feels to be old...
For the longest time, all I could think of was teaching writing workshops, and maybe women's studies. But now, I've come to see a deeper utility in reading. Mostly because no one reads. I know people who read some -- a few books a year, maybe more -- and I know people who read one book a year. I know people who don't read books at all. And I know avid readers who read trashy magazines, romance novels, Dean Koontz crap. Just meaning, there is plenty of literature out there, and I fear no one is learning.
Reading opens a gigantic door to empathy. Reading makes you walk in someone else's shoes. Reading makes you identify with people you perceive as different. Reading cultivates a sensitivity around what it means to be human: to be aware of your own and others' vulnerabilities, to understand we are shaped by our culture, religion, diet, choices, sexual preference. Reading makes us understand how people turn to heroin and why people smoke. Reading helps us understand what its like to live with cancer, be depressed, or be in love. Reading can help us cope with death. Reading can bring new worlds into view. Reading reminds us that things change, and teach us to be appreciate of that fact. Reading reminds us to question authority. It can also make us laugh, imagine, dream, escape, time travel, and so much more.
This is not a campaign for literacy, because the basic skill of being capable of reading is a necessary tool for success at a fundamental level. I am talking about something transcendental. An everyday transcendental experience -- or at least taking a shot at it.
One of my favorite quotes says, "At every instance, one is either growing into something more or shrinking into something less." This quote has inspired me and scared me on and off over about 8 years. I forced myself to memorize it when I was working at a skeezy democratic campaign office with people I didn't respect, save myself and one other. I didn't want to get stuck. I see learning and personal growth as an avenue to freedom and agency. Reading lends both.
Do people realize this? Is this a personal perspective, this passion about learning, reading, growing? Is it worthwhile to try to cultivate this in others?
I think it is, absolutely. And I'd like to try.
20 BOOKS THAT HAVE CHANGED MY LIFE:
1. Tao te Ching, by Lao Tzu
2. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, by Robert Pirsig
3. Sophie's World, by Josteen Gartner
4. Elegy, by Larry Levis
5. Huck Finn, by Mark Twain
6. The Tao of Physics, by Frijtof Capra
7. Cat's Cradle, by Kurt Vonnegut
8. The Left Hand of Darkness, by Ursula LeGuin
9. On Liberty, by John Stuart Mill
10. How to Read a Book, by William Adler
11. Democracy in America, by Alexis de Tocqueville
12. Malcom X, by Alex Haley
13. Almanac of the Dead, by Leslie Marmon Silko
14. The Tipping Point, by Malcom Gladwell
15. Being and Nothingness, by Jean Paul Sartre
16. The Second Sex, by Simone de Beavoir
17. The Book, by Alan Watts
18. Toward a Philosophy of the Act, by M. Bahktin
19. In Another Place, Not Here, by Dionne Brand
20. The Alchemist, by Paulo Coehlo
It would be a rewarding, challenging, dynamic learning experience to get up in front of students and provide an avenue for them to learn lessons from other people's stories in books. What better way to travel when poor? What better way to learn about your enemies? What easier way to get a first-hand look into another culture? Remember what its like to be young, or discover what it feels to be old...
For the longest time, all I could think of was teaching writing workshops, and maybe women's studies. But now, I've come to see a deeper utility in reading. Mostly because no one reads. I know people who read some -- a few books a year, maybe more -- and I know people who read one book a year. I know people who don't read books at all. And I know avid readers who read trashy magazines, romance novels, Dean Koontz crap. Just meaning, there is plenty of literature out there, and I fear no one is learning.
Reading opens a gigantic door to empathy. Reading makes you walk in someone else's shoes. Reading makes you identify with people you perceive as different. Reading cultivates a sensitivity around what it means to be human: to be aware of your own and others' vulnerabilities, to understand we are shaped by our culture, religion, diet, choices, sexual preference. Reading makes us understand how people turn to heroin and why people smoke. Reading helps us understand what its like to live with cancer, be depressed, or be in love. Reading can help us cope with death. Reading can bring new worlds into view. Reading reminds us that things change, and teach us to be appreciate of that fact. Reading reminds us to question authority. It can also make us laugh, imagine, dream, escape, time travel, and so much more.
This is not a campaign for literacy, because the basic skill of being capable of reading is a necessary tool for success at a fundamental level. I am talking about something transcendental. An everyday transcendental experience -- or at least taking a shot at it.
One of my favorite quotes says, "At every instance, one is either growing into something more or shrinking into something less." This quote has inspired me and scared me on and off over about 8 years. I forced myself to memorize it when I was working at a skeezy democratic campaign office with people I didn't respect, save myself and one other. I didn't want to get stuck. I see learning and personal growth as an avenue to freedom and agency. Reading lends both.
Do people realize this? Is this a personal perspective, this passion about learning, reading, growing? Is it worthwhile to try to cultivate this in others?
I think it is, absolutely. And I'd like to try.
20 BOOKS THAT HAVE CHANGED MY LIFE:
1. Tao te Ching, by Lao Tzu
2. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, by Robert Pirsig
3. Sophie's World, by Josteen Gartner
4. Elegy, by Larry Levis
5. Huck Finn, by Mark Twain
6. The Tao of Physics, by Frijtof Capra
7. Cat's Cradle, by Kurt Vonnegut
8. The Left Hand of Darkness, by Ursula LeGuin
9. On Liberty, by John Stuart Mill
10. How to Read a Book, by William Adler
11. Democracy in America, by Alexis de Tocqueville
12. Malcom X, by Alex Haley
13. Almanac of the Dead, by Leslie Marmon Silko
14. The Tipping Point, by Malcom Gladwell
15. Being and Nothingness, by Jean Paul Sartre
16. The Second Sex, by Simone de Beavoir
17. The Book, by Alan Watts
18. Toward a Philosophy of the Act, by M. Bahktin
19. In Another Place, Not Here, by Dionne Brand
20. The Alchemist, by Paulo Coehlo
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
We Decided to Make It Permanent
This is an idea I am developing for a book, inspired by a short news story I heard on NPR about the beaches in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. I hope to write a short story, or a fictional account, that analyzes humans' need to create the illusion of stability and permanence, and study the irony of being at such odds with our environment.
If you took a geology course or lived on a coast somewhere, you probably know about coastal erosion. Well, nothing is different in Fort Lauderdale -- the beaches are maintained by a coastal committee, a government agency I think. They pump sand from the ocean floor to maintain the white sandy tourist attractions, and make sure the pier and hotels remain in place. If they didn't, things would not appear how they do currently. At least one pier would be completely under water by about 10 feet, the interviewee of this NPR story says.
For the time being, here is the link to that story, "Importing Sand, Glass May Help Restore Beaches,"by Jon Hamilton:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=12026379.
Along these same lines, I just saw an ad for a forthcoming nature drama show/investigative report on TV that's called something like "What if we controlled the weather?" I can't find anything about it online, perhaps because I can't remember what network its on. Regardless, in Daniel Quinn's book Ishmael (can't figure out how to italicize on this keyboard), when he's talking about the spin-off effects of human beings harnessing the productive power of the earth in agriculture and what an impact developing those first farming systems have had on nature, the environment, our big brains and our big egos, he mentioned that weather was basically the last aspect of nature that humans have not yet successfully been able to control (not that we haven't tried). Now here comes this show. We have to watch it, because I'm curious, what are those meteorologists doing with tornados and hurricanes? Where do they go?
I suppose there are still earthquakes left to try and control. And there's still mind control, but we already have social norms, violence and poverty, so why move to something so obscure when its already so easy? And drugs.
I'm off topic now. Getting back to superimposing permanence on our ever-changing world, let's turn to the Tao te Ching, told by Lao Tzu so long ago. Whatever translation you have, you should be able to glean the idea that nothing is stable in the world, and that everything you perceive as real is just a shifting of a former shadow's self, so to speak. Meaning that "nature, in its wayward, wandering nature" (as Alan Watts would say), cannot be pinned down. At least that approach is the antithesis of what it means to simply be. I was going to say "develop" or "grow," but those are our artificial, view-from-above concepts.
Here is a sample of what I'm referring to on the off chance that you don't have a copy of the Tao laying around, or you don't know what it is. This is the first few lines of verse 8: "The highest good is like water./ Water gives life to the ten thousand things and does not strive./ It flows in places men reject and so is like that Tao."
As members of our shared environment, we are not exempt from the laws of the universe. We cannot, despite illusion, stop time or ward off death. Things end.
There is a widespread theory that people fear change because deep down, they fear death. I don't really think this is the case. Perhaps people fear change because we have trained ourselves to react immediately to situations presented to us. We are the culture of the quick response (think driving). This habit is tied to immediate gratification; both may be borne of the same source. Sameness, or predictability, allows us to control our environments. To exert our will over our predictable circumstances. If you know the route you're driving because you drive it everday, you don't have to think about how to get where you're going. If society says the way to happiness and normalcy, the starting points or building blocks of everything you'll ever want and need, begin with marriage, children and owning a home, then maybe we should do that. Get ourselves into legally binding contracts of all sorts that we create to pacify ourselves on a superficial level that things will remain constant, and we don't have to fear ... abondonment ... poverty ... solitude ...
Fearing change itself. But not because we fear death. Is it the fear of thinking? Of finding a new way to be successful after we've already paved our path and proven ourselves? It can't be that simple. That stupid guy wrote "Who Moved My Cheese" based on that theory, and it was only marginally OK or applicable/relevant for certain people in the workplace.
Well, there are certainly more thoughts here. Don't despair. This is my first blog. I promise that if I develop this idea, it will be developed with the use of proper nouns, reliable sources, quotes and comparisons to other works, and the name of that TV show, etc.
If you took a geology course or lived on a coast somewhere, you probably know about coastal erosion. Well, nothing is different in Fort Lauderdale -- the beaches are maintained by a coastal committee, a government agency I think. They pump sand from the ocean floor to maintain the white sandy tourist attractions, and make sure the pier and hotels remain in place. If they didn't, things would not appear how they do currently. At least one pier would be completely under water by about 10 feet, the interviewee of this NPR story says.
For the time being, here is the link to that story, "Importing Sand, Glass May Help Restore Beaches,"by Jon Hamilton:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=12026379.
Along these same lines, I just saw an ad for a forthcoming nature drama show/investigative report on TV that's called something like "What if we controlled the weather?" I can't find anything about it online, perhaps because I can't remember what network its on. Regardless, in Daniel Quinn's book Ishmael (can't figure out how to italicize on this keyboard), when he's talking about the spin-off effects of human beings harnessing the productive power of the earth in agriculture and what an impact developing those first farming systems have had on nature, the environment, our big brains and our big egos, he mentioned that weather was basically the last aspect of nature that humans have not yet successfully been able to control (not that we haven't tried). Now here comes this show. We have to watch it, because I'm curious, what are those meteorologists doing with tornados and hurricanes? Where do they go?
I suppose there are still earthquakes left to try and control. And there's still mind control, but we already have social norms, violence and poverty, so why move to something so obscure when its already so easy? And drugs.
I'm off topic now. Getting back to superimposing permanence on our ever-changing world, let's turn to the Tao te Ching, told by Lao Tzu so long ago. Whatever translation you have, you should be able to glean the idea that nothing is stable in the world, and that everything you perceive as real is just a shifting of a former shadow's self, so to speak. Meaning that "nature, in its wayward, wandering nature" (as Alan Watts would say), cannot be pinned down. At least that approach is the antithesis of what it means to simply be. I was going to say "develop" or "grow," but those are our artificial, view-from-above concepts.
Here is a sample of what I'm referring to on the off chance that you don't have a copy of the Tao laying around, or you don't know what it is. This is the first few lines of verse 8: "The highest good is like water./ Water gives life to the ten thousand things and does not strive./ It flows in places men reject and so is like that Tao."
As members of our shared environment, we are not exempt from the laws of the universe. We cannot, despite illusion, stop time or ward off death. Things end.
There is a widespread theory that people fear change because deep down, they fear death. I don't really think this is the case. Perhaps people fear change because we have trained ourselves to react immediately to situations presented to us. We are the culture of the quick response (think driving). This habit is tied to immediate gratification; both may be borne of the same source. Sameness, or predictability, allows us to control our environments. To exert our will over our predictable circumstances. If you know the route you're driving because you drive it everday, you don't have to think about how to get where you're going. If society says the way to happiness and normalcy, the starting points or building blocks of everything you'll ever want and need, begin with marriage, children and owning a home, then maybe we should do that. Get ourselves into legally binding contracts of all sorts that we create to pacify ourselves on a superficial level that things will remain constant, and we don't have to fear ... abondonment ... poverty ... solitude ...
Fearing change itself. But not because we fear death. Is it the fear of thinking? Of finding a new way to be successful after we've already paved our path and proven ourselves? It can't be that simple. That stupid guy wrote "Who Moved My Cheese" based on that theory, and it was only marginally OK or applicable/relevant for certain people in the workplace.
Well, there are certainly more thoughts here. Don't despair. This is my first blog. I promise that if I develop this idea, it will be developed with the use of proper nouns, reliable sources, quotes and comparisons to other works, and the name of that TV show, etc.
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