Doors/Universe/Memory

I'm listening to the doors at work. roadhouse blues. My old favorite band. Obsession maybe I should say.

Reminds me:

After college, like any other wander-lust not wanting to go home, finally free, 20 something, didn't know what to do and joined my friend Leanne at a summer camp outside of san francisco. redwoods, forest, screaming dirty children, the whole 9. was i prepped for a camp counselor position? what was there to be prepped for? i guess a lot, because i got put in the office.

"that's ok," i thought. "i'm more used to this kind of environment and i won't have to be working round the clock with pubescent teens and pre-teens."

i didn't know i wouldn't get cell phone reception. i felt isolated. in the boones. hated it!

many great and life changing experiences happened at that camp. i learned not to tease boys about sex. [ha] i learned that angels inhabit people and can brighten any day of a life of a day. i learned i don't really love the woods. i learned, again, the value of a car. and i learned the value of friends' friends.

my angel-girl friend rachy, a kiwi, a fruit, a nut [sari asked was she crazy. she never knew anyone who laughed like that] had a friend. he worked at that camp too, but in a different department. his name was adrien. somehow adrien knew i loved the doors. i think that's all we had to talk about because he smoked a lot of weed and was an artist -- you'd think we would have had more in common or more to say -- but he was always singing, on his guitar, so we were left to look at the shadows of trees and the filtering of light. and that was good and well.

one day we happened upon the subject of the doors. we both loved them; he, not nearly as much as i, i'd say. nonetheless, he asked:

"Do you know they're having that reunion concert in Concord? All the original band members -- except for Jim of course. It's on June 5th. I'm going."

Of course I asked if he had an extra ticket, or could i buy one, or WHERE could i buy one, etc. He said they were sold out. Sorry. He was taking a friend. Not to mention, June 5th was my birthday. Ugh!

When I saw him I'd ask him, as the date approached, if he was excited, and was that guy he was taking nearly as cool as me. he said he wasn't sure about the coolness part, but yah, he was excited.

well about two days before my b-day/the concert, we were singing and watching the light and listening to the moon coming out and he asked me, would i like to go? of course I said yes. i don't even think i bothered asking what happened to his dude friend. rachy said "of course he likes you hales. you gotta know that." who knew.

so there we went. the one catch was that i had to drive. car comes in handy. no problem. free ticket otherwise. a birthday present from a near stranger. when we got there, parked, and started walking up, they were just starting the first set and you could hear the deep guitar beat of roadhouse blues. it was awesome.

we were in the 18th row. i think the lead singer from white snake covered for jim. strange, because he was kind of like an elvis impersonator. fluffy white shirt, long wavy hair, leather pants -- looking strikingly like jim. oh well. a reno or vegas show in concord. the rest was authentic.

it was a real high, man.

morning stream of consciousness

afraid of a blank template, are we? so out of practice. don't you hate it when you start writing after a long hiatus -- really long -- and feel like you don't have your voice or don't have anything to say? of course there are the usual things, but average is so ordinary and everyone gets that when they're not in front of the sensational box. i mean tv. one week without tv, have you tried it? i heard the radio interview of a man who decided he and his family would go one week without tv, as if it were food or water, or some kind of real challenge. but it is... and he said the first thing you realize is how much time you have. how much less hectic life becomes. as long as i have books and canvas and white paint i think i'll be fine. who am i kidding. i lived for a year without tv. it's a companion for people who are lonely. it's an excuse to stay inside. it sensationalizes daily life and makes yours feel inadequate. makes you expect something other than what you have, perhaps. people become friends with their tv show characters. emulate them, want to be them. they come up in casual conversation and what i was trying to say was, tv does your thinking for you. even in casual conversation. talk about your shows. what else is there to say?

"wipe your hand across your mouth and laugh. the worlds revolve like ancient women gathering fuel in vacant lots." - thomas stearns eliot, from preludes

[i really need to start reading poetry again]